ManeatingPonies

Just lately I have been feeling very down for no good reason, my bad habbit of scratching myself when stressed, angry, nervous and sad had been getting bad again and i now have a large scab on my hand where a scratched at it  repeatedly without noticing. The last time that happened was in Janurary, i still have the scars. I've been unable to feel happy since July which just happens to be when I started on medication number 4. The last couple of days have been bad, even for me, my mum decided i was showing to many sighns of depression which lead to my sitting in the doctors office this morning instead of Candy's sociology lesson. So tonight I start on medication type 5, tommorow i have a blood test (and yes, I don't like needles) and hopefully i will start to feel better soon. Although physically i have been healthier on this medication than the other three, number 3 in particular made me really ill.

On the plus side i do have some good ideas for some art projects to work on . I have this friday off, i hope to re-dye my hair. I seem to have been given a pay rise and my lessons are all going well. And the buttons have been re-sewn to my coat .

Sorry for my depressing moan ^^ feel free to ignore this i just needed to rant.

*I got my exam results, not as good as I wanted but better than i expected due to unfortunate circumstances whilst takeing the exams. I don't even remember takeing one of them.
*I dropped english lit which is a big weight off.
*I have a trial run at a new job
*I turn 17 on sunday (old enough to drive, which is scary)
*Tommorrow I am having a painting day while my family go digging (loud music ^^)
*My new hair colour is lasting well

On the downside, i have an eye test on wednesday, they really freak me out, i generally fear doctors and health exams of any kind.
[EDIT]
*the eye exam went okay, it was just really scary
*I got the job which is good after the five days i went to work there on a trial run for training, its all standing up so it makes my feet hurt but apart from a few rude customers its quite fun.
*got all my practical art homework done, just analysis needs doing now.
*school starts on wednesday, sooooo not ready.

I went to see Flyleaf on tuesday, they were awsome, it was a great experience, avoiding the spilt beer and mosh pit, I regained my hearing later. ^^

My art coursework deadling is the 1st of April, after that i might actually find time to do some pieces for my own enyoyment, hopefully i will have some new stuff very soon, i will have even more time after the 4th of may which is the date of my 5 hour art exam. 5 Hours to create a piece, so little time. But at the moment I can't wait to get it over with. then i can relax-ish. Exams are coming up, they will help me decide which subject to drop, i want to continue with Psychology and sociology, i will have to choose between English lit and art- the two subject that stress me the most, i think i'd rather drop english lit coz it annoyes me the most, i haven't been able to read for enjoyment is ages, it just depends on my exam scores.

I survived the funeral, my little brother didn't go but the rest of us did. My little brother has Asperges ( a form of autism and he decided that he would be to sad to handle the funeral). The service was beautiful, I'm not particularly religious but the reverand spoke about my Great-grandmother as if he had known her for years. It was nice. As soon as i got home I managed to fall asleep at the top of the stairs i don't know how, i was just so exhausted.

My teacher is trying to arange a charity car wash, she actually expects teachers to trust us to wash their cars without causing damage. I can already think of a list of teachers who would be asking for it if the signed up, which could explaing the blank sign-up sheet XD.

On sunday my great-grandmother died in hospital. I really haven't been feeling up to drawing for a little while. I might make an attempt as some of my newer ideas after I've been to her funeral and got over the stress of everything. My great grandma was one of the relatives i always enjoyed visiting, i will miss her same few questions and answeing the same every time: "Are you learning to drive yet" (no i'm still not old enough) " How's work at help the aged going" ( i never worked there) Those moments always made me smile, i always knew what was coming, i know i will really miss them.

I haven't been online at all much recently, I have so many messages to read and process, i will get through them i just have alot on my plate right now. I have been so sleepy that nothing seems to be getting done.
And things have been hectic since my Great Grandma had a fall and broke her hip, shes never well at the best of times.

About two weeks back i had a bit of a break down for various reasons and in the proscess of sorting things out a fair bit of dammage happend to my hands due to nervous scratching, most of the damage occured to my left hand and I'm left handed so that has been slowing me down quite a bit. My hands are healing a little now and i have been drawing a little, i will try to post as soon as i can.

On the plus side, after i finish writing notes i will have nothing for sociologie that needs doing this weekend,although thinking about it I have English Lit coursework, Psychology from both teachers and then theres always art... damn, I guess i won't get much relaxing done this weekend.